When the small things are really the BIG things

I had a bit of a moment tonight. Well I say a bit but actually it was more than that.

Today, my eldest decided he no longer needed any of his teddies; the array of companions he’d collected over the years, those who had seen so much love and attention, many of whom held so many memories – for us both. He doesn’t need them anymore and I fully understand that – he’s getting older and he’s outgrowing them – but I realised I’m not ready for him to be there yet, I still need him to have them.

Later, as we’re all eating together, my youngest got near to the end of his bowl of custard and he asked me for help with the last bit. As I took the bowl in one hand and the spoon in the other, it hit me that I couldn’t remember when I had stopped and he had started feeding himself. It seemed as though he’d always done it. The realisation of how independent he is and how quickly the time has gone hit me again. He didn’t need me to do it for him but again, I realised I missed it.

Then, never one to ever be missed out (and because things will always happen in threes) my daughter, followed me upstairs, as I navigated the stairs with an armful of washing. As I sorted through it and got ready to take the piles into each room, she proudly asked for hers so she could put them away, as she ‘didn’t need me’ to do it for her anymore. Off she went to sort her clothes out and carefully put them all away exactly how she wanted them.

These are just three ‘little’ moments but they are representative of so many in our lives – although we often don’t realise they are moments until we no longer have them or do them.

I fully accept they are growing up; I absolutely get that I am raising independent children and I am incredibly proud of this and don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to suggest that everything is perfect – I experience those difficult days when the kids are feral and only bedtime will help but can I remember them, really? Can I tell you what happened? Nope. They happened, they passed, they no longer matter.

However, do I wish I had fully appreciated the ‘last times’? Do I wish I could stop worrying about the insignificant stuff and concentrate more on the stuff that truly matters in my life? Absolutely.

Tonight serves as an important reminder; to spend more time living in the moment, appreciating the here and the now and to put what’s most important first. Always. 💜